Plundered Blog

I changed the author name on this blog so people who I might talk about wouldn’t know who wrote it, and have’n't yet put up anything juicy yet. Well this one changes that. Not sure how juicy it is, but it still has me confused.

One of the things that I am least proud of and most confused by is how things ended with my ex. I don’t recall what we did that night, just the drive to her house at the end of the night. It was a half hour drive and when we pulled out of the parking lot I started talking, now several people have told me that this was were I made my mistake, and at times I would have to agree.at times, most times.

I talked for thirty minutes about us and our relationship(I think), and at the end of the drive I couldn’t for the life of me remember anything that i had said just minutes before, but the only thing that felt like the next logical phrase to utter was, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.

At this point we were sitting in front of her house, and she was crying slightly. She didn’t say anything as she got out of the car and walked to her door, on the way to my house I tried to process what had just happened. I felt numb really, not completely but a little, and a little numb is more than whats normal. I knew that I had just broken up with the woman that I had spent the last few years with in a committed but not serious relationship. I knew that to get her back would take work if it was even possible at that point.

The next morning she got in her car and went back to school. I have no idea what she thought about on the four hour drive to school in Austin, never had the stones to ask. Really don’t want her to think about that too much. It was a year or two before we tallked again, I had done some thinking and decided that I didn’t want to end up anything like my father, so I thought maybe I had made a mistake. I called her and we started talking.
really not sure how to finish this as it is still happening, but not happening. I have screwed things up in the past and in the not so past with her, I have hurt her more times than I care to admit, but i do know that she has been hurt by me. I don’t do it on purpose, it may be like a knee jerk reaction to something that i wasn’t ready for.
the story continues, hopefully, but the post ends here for now